Saturday, 29 January 2011

A joke about Germany’s supremacy in Europe [O glumă despre supremaţia Germaniei în Europa]

Germany’s economic supremacy in today’s Europe (EU and EMU respectively) may not be anything to joke about. It’s a sheer fact.
No matter how much the Perfidious Albion, France, Poland or Romania would be whining about it, there’s only one economic superpower in the EU.
The topic is very interesting and – God willing – I would like to write more about it in 2011, especially as the ‘EMU crisis’ (or ‘euro crisis’, or whatever… – but still a ‘crisis’) is far from over.
Until then, here’s an interesting joke that could well be about... Germany’s lobby in Brussels. And let us ignore for a while that the German language is in not position of challenging the supremacy of English yet.
However, the joke (I thank a fellow blogger for sending it to me) it’s not completely far-fetched, as it may seem to some.
It makes an interesting analogy to how Germans know how to have things ‘done their way’ within the EU. They many not have Hitler’s Wehrmacht, but their economy is as strong today as it has ever been for the past two hundreds of years.
Enjoy the joke (+ my not-so-spectacular pics from Berlin), and keep an eye on Germany! I’d say it’s too early to dismiss this country’s potential on the world’s stage.
We’d better try to understand more this of country, and even learn German!
Even before learning Chinese, I’d say that any European country not having at least several ‘platoons of intellectuals’ who could speak perfect German and perfect Russian has a severe handicap. Only God can spare that country of the cost of such ignorance!
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(nothing but a joke, but bearing a ‘seed of truth’ like every joke :-)

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majestys Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as ‘Euro-English’.
In the first year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favour of the ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced with ‘f’. This will make words like ‘fotograf’ 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent ‘e’-s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru! Und ve vil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze furst plas!
[For all the posts on this blog go to/Pentru toate postările de pe acest blog mergi la: Contents/Cuprins]


Anonymous said...

Deutsch ist interessant!
I was talking to my boyfriend who learns German language and wants to continue his studies there, that is an interesting language. And if I would not be too busy right now with other foreign languages that I love, I would not hesitate.
All the best,

Anonymous said...

L-am primit pe mail:

Un african, tocmai recunoscut ca azilant în Germania, se plimba mândru pe
străzile noului său oraş, la orele prânzului. El se adresează primului
întâlnit, spunându-i:

"Mulţumesc, dragă germanule, vă mulţumesc că m-aţi primit în ţara voastră
minunată, că mi-aţi oferit ajutor, adăpost şi asigurare medicală." Cel căruia i
se adresase răspunde: "Vă înşelaţi, eu sunt albanez."

Omul merge mai departe şi se adresează unei alte persoane : "Mulţumesc
pentru că m-aţi primit în aşa o ţară frumoasă ca Germania ! "Acesta îi răspunde: "Eu nu
sunt neamţ, eu sunt român."

Mai întâlneşte o persoană şi spune din nou: "Mulţumesc pentru minunata
Germanie!". Cel interpelat ridică din umeri şi zice. "Eu nu sunt german, sunt

Apoi vede el o femeie ceva mai vârstnică şi întreabă. "Sunteţi
nemţoaică?" "Nu", zice femeia, "sunt turcoaică." Nedumerit, o întreabă: "Dar unde sunt toti nemţii ăştia?" Femeia se uită la ceas şi spune: "Cum unde ? La muncă."


MunteanUK said...

Dear G.,

Thank you for the very interesting joke, which is relevant to the point I wanted to make about Germany's economic supremacy in Europe.

Since this is an English-language post, whose readers I expect to be friends (and foes?! :-) scattered all over the world, I think it's very good to translate the joke that you shared.


An African had just been granted political asylum in Germany, and he was proudly strolling the streets of his newly adoptive city.

It was around noon, when our character went straight to the first man he met on the street, joyfully saying to him:

"Thank you, dear German, thank you for having received me in your wonderful country, for offering me shelter and medical insurance!"

The one he approached says to the African: "I am afraid you are wrong, I am Albanian"

The 'Asylant' (or 'Asylbewerber') moves forward to the next person he noticed, to whom he says: "Thank you for receiving me in such a beautiful country like Germany!"

Again, the conversation is cut short by the reply: "I am not German, I am Romanian."

A bit later, another man shrugged his shoulders in front of the African, saying to him: "I'm not German, I'm from Egypt."

Undeterred by the previous encounters,the African stopped an older woman, and asked her: "Are you German?"

"No, I am from Turkey", the woman answered. Puzzeled, the man asks:
"Then where are all these Germans in this country?"

The old woman looks at her watch and replies: "Where do you you think they are?! They are at work, of course."